[AccessD] OT Humor: You Might be from Kansas If...

Oleg_123 at xuppa.com Oleg_123 at xuppa.com
Fri Feb 14 10:40:00 CST 2003


I was laughing so hard, I startled the Secretary who came to water the
plants... (so she dropped the cup and spilled the water)
:))

> Ditto for us Coloradoans.
>
> Jeff
>
> -------Original Message-------
> From: "Klos, Susan" <Susan.Klos at fldoe.org>
> Sent: 02/14/03 09:25 AM
> To: "'accessd at databaseadvisors.com'" <accessd at databaseadvisors.com>
> Subject: RE: [AccessD] OT Humor: You Might be from Kansas If...
>
>>
>> These are great, Seth!  I am from Oklahoma (no! not OU the other
>> school.
> Do
> most people know there is another one?) and understood all of them.
> Many apply to Oklahomans (some with slight changes).
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Seth Galitzer [mailto:sgsax at ksu.edu]
> Sent: Friday, February 14, 2003 11:10 AM
> To: accessd
> Subject: [AccessD] OT Humor: You Might be from Kansas If...
>
>
> OK, being the resident Kansan here (or at least one of the few), I think
> I am qualified to post this.  Some are just plain stereotypes, but
> others are very true...
>
> Happy Friday!
>
> Seth
>
> -------------------------------------
>
> You Might be from Kansas If...
>
> 1. You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.
>
> 2. You have never met any celebrities. (Bob Dole isn't a celebrity; he's
> your neighbor.)
>
> 3. You know the meaning of Rock Chalk Jayhawk.
>
> 4. Your closest neighbor is more than a mile away and you can still see
> him from your front porch.
>
> 5. You can properly pronounce Salina, Basehor, Cimmeron, Schoenchen,
> Kechi and Osawatomie.
>
> 6. Going on vacation means going to Hutch to the fair or to Abilene to
> Ike's museum
>
> 7. A traffic jam involves two cars staring each other down at a four-way
> stop, each determined to be the most polite and let the other go first.
>
> 8. A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol. A Ford F10 4x4 is.(Except in
> Johnson County)
>
> 9. You discover that in July it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.
>
> 10. The terms Sooners and Huskers cause hairs on the back of your neck
> to stand up straight and your blood pressure to rise.
>
> 11. You have owned at least one belt buckle bigger than your fist.
>
> 12. You think people who complain about the wind and weather in their
> states are SISSIES!
>
> 13. You are not surprised to find movie rentals, ammunition and bait all
> in the same store.
>
> 14. You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by
> the distance to the door but by the availability of shade.
>
> 15. You have been asked, "Where is Toto" more than once.
>
> 16. You had at least one summer job that was bucking bales or custom
> cutting.
>
> 17. More than once you've made a beer run to another state.
>
> 18. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned to multiply.
>
> 19. Your school classes have been canceled because of the cold.
>
> 20. You know in your heart that K-State can beat Oklahoma in football.
>
> 21. Traffic congestion is ten cars waiting to pass a combine on the hig
> hway.
>
> 22. You have had to switch from heat to A/C in the same day.
>
> 23. You know everything goes better with Ranch.
>
> 24. Your school classes have been canceled because of the heat.
>
> 25. You have ridden the school bus for more than an hour each way.
>
> 26. In August, you break a sweat the instant you step outside at
> 7:00a.m.
>
> 27. You instantly know someone is from Johnson County when they call
> everything west of Topeka... "Western" Kansas.
>
> 28. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and
> look for a funnel.
>
> 29. You know the real way to pronounce the name of Clinton's state and
> the river... arKANSAS.
>
> 30. You think the opening day of pheasant season is a national holiday.
>
> 31. "Vacation" means going to Kansas City or Wichita for the weekend.
>
> 32. You measure distance in hours.
>
> 33. You know several people who have hit more than one deer.
>
> 34. You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.
>
> 35. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
> unlocked.
>
> 36. You think of the major food groups as beer, beef and beans.
>
> 37. You carry jumper cables in your car and make sure your better half
> knows how to use them.
>
> 38. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
>
> 39. You know the 4 seasons as: summer, road construction, still summer,
> winter.
>
> 40. It takes you 3 hours to go to the store for one item even when
> you're in a rush because you have to stop and talk to everyone in town.
>
> 41. You lock the doors to your truck but leave the windows rolled down.
>
> 42. You call sodas just plain ol' "Pop"!!
>
> 43. FINALLY..... you are 100% Kansan if........... You actually
> understand these jokes and forward them to all your friends from Kansas.
>
> --
> Seth Galitzer   	   	   	sgsax at ksu.edu
> Computing Specialist   	   	http://puma.agron.ksu.edu/~sgsax
> Dept. of Plant Pathology
> Kansas State University
>
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>>
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