[AccessD] Fri OT funny and true

LOL. That was great Jim! Here's my contribution: ( a bit long)

Mel finally decides to take a vacation. He books himself on a Caribbean
cruise and proceeds to have the time of his life, until the boat sinks.
Mel finds himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people,
no supplies, nothing. He has only bananas and coconuts.

After about four months, Mel is lying on the beach one day when the most
gorgeous woman Mel has ever seen rows up to him. In disbelief, Mel asks her,
"Where did you come from? How did you get here?"

"I rowed from the other side of the island," she says. "I landed here when
my cruise ship sank."

"Amazing," Mel says. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with
you."

"Oh, this?" replies the woman. "I made the rowboat out of raw materials I
found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches, I wove
the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a
Eucalyptus tree."

"But-but, that's impossible," stutters Mel. "You had no tools or hardware.
How did you manage?"

"Oh, that was no problem," replies the woman. "On the south side of the
island, there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed. I found if
I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable
ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the
hardware."

 Mel is stunned.

"Let's row over to my place," she says.

After an hour or so of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As Mel
looks on to shore, Mel nearly falls out of the boat. Before him is a stone
walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the
woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, Mel could only
stare ahead, dumbstruck.

As they walk into the house, she says casually, "It's not much, but I call
it home. Sit down please. Would you like to have a drink?"

"No, no thank you," Mel says, still dazed. "I can't take any more coconut
juice."

"It's not coconut juice," the woman replies. "I have a still. How about a
Pina Colada?"

Trying to hide his continued amazement, Mel accepts, and they sit down on
her couch to talk. After they have exchanged their stories, the woman
announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you
like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in
the bathroom."

No longer questioning anything, Mel goes into the bathroom. There, in the
cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a hollow
ground edge are fastened onto its end inside of a swivel mechanism. "Wow!
This woman is amazing," Mel muses. "What next?"

When Mel returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines, strategically
positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit
down next to her.

"Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've been
out here for a really long time. You've been lonely. There's something I'm
sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for
all these months. You know..." She stares into his eyes. Mel can't believe
what he's hearing:

"You mean", he swallows excitedly, "I can actually check my e-mail from
here?"