[AccessD] Access 2007

Max Wanadoo max.wanadoo at gmail.com
Thu Jan 10 11:05:28 CST 2008


Ok,
Here we are.  Bet some of these make you smile.

Max

 
6 reasons not to mess with children

1.   A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow 
a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very
small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it
was physically impossible. 
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied,"Then you ask him ".

2.   A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while
they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's
work, as she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked
what the drawing was.  The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." 
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied,
"They will in a minute."

3.   A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
five and six year olds.  After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy
Father and thy Mother,she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how
to treat our brothers and sisters Without hesitation one little boy (the
oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

4.   The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.  Just think how nice
it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say 'There's
Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor" then a small
voice at the back of the room shouted out "And there's the teacher, she's
dead." 

5.   A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying
to make the matter clearer she said "Now, class, if I stood on my head,the
blood as you know would run into it, and I would turn red in the 
face."  "Yes," the class said.  "Then why is it that while I am standing
upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty." 

6.   The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary
school for lunch At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The
nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: 
"Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table 
was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples 




  

-----Original Message-----
From: accessd-bounces at databaseadvisors.com
[mailto:accessd-bounces at databaseadvisors.com] On Behalf Of pcs at azizaz.com
Sent: Thursday, January 10, 2008 2:27 PM
To: Access Developers discussion and problemsolving
Subject: Re: [AccessD] Access 2007

23 minutes into Friday down under here.... and I am off for a few hours ....

borge

---- Original message ----
>Date: Thu, 10 Jan 2008 14:01:03 -0000
>From: "Max Wanadoo" <max.wanadoo at gmail.com>
>Subject: Re: [AccessD] Access 2007
>To: "'Access Developers discussion and problem solving'" 
<accessd at databaseadvisors.com>
>
>Oh I don't know about that.  I always read JC's postings if
only for
>amusement!
>No one can say he doesn't care!   He wants the best for his 
clients and what
>is wrong with that?
>Also, and incidentally, it does throw up a lot of stuff
without which many
>other people may have had to find the answers to the hard
way.
>
>Keep going JC.  I got some great ones for you on Friday (Is
it Friday in Oz
>yet?)
>
>Max
>
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: accessd-bounces at databaseadvisors.com
>[mailto:accessd-bounces at databaseadvisors.com] On Behalf Of
Robert
>Sent: Thursday, January 10, 2008 1:50 PM
>To: Access Developers discussion and problem solving
>Subject: Re: [AccessD] Access 2007
>
>-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
>Hash: SHA1
>
>Michael,
>I have no problem with John's reasoning for his points or
the passion in
>which he delivers it. My concern is that John maybe somehow
tacking this
>silly topic personally. Sure you can separate/disconnect
emotion from it
>(from most things), but nonetheless it's there.
>
>I didn't mean what I said to be derogatory (although it
looks that way
>(Sorry John)), just with concern, stress can eat us alive
without us evening
>realizing it. This topic or it's direction doesn't seem to
warrant it's
>elevation for anyone.
>
>
>
>WBR
>~Robert
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>Michael R Mattys wrote:
>> No, I don't think so. While it might appear that the
whole thing was 
>> aimed at Steve, it can be also read without such
sensitivity.
>> Steve can answer the 'how' question himself.
>> Otherwise, I agree with all of John's reasoning.
>> 
>> Michael R. Mattys
>> MapPoint & Access Dev
>> www.mattysconsulting.com
>> 
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Robert" <robert at servicexp.com>
>> To: "Access Developers discussion and problem solving" 
>> <accessd at databaseadvisors.com>
>> Sent: Thursday, January 10, 2008 8:03 AM
>> Subject: Re: [AccessD] Access 2007
>> 
>> 
>>> -----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
>>> Hash: SHA1
>>>
>>> A little stressed John? Man you need to chill out...
>>>
>>> WBR
>>> ~Robert
>> 
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