[AccessD] 30th Anniversary of ?Real Programmers Don?t Write Specs?- A funny little gem from the past

A classic. :-)

(I remember when it first came out.)

Jim

-----Original Message-----
From: accessd-bounces at databaseadvisors.com
[mailto:accessd-bounces at databaseadvisors.com] On Behalf Of Brad Marks
Sent: Monday, July 15, 2013 11:29 AM
To: Access Developers discussion and problem solving
Subject: [AccessD] 30th Anniversary of ?Real Programmers Don?t Write Specs?-
A funny little gem from the past

Real Programmers don't write specs - users should consider themselves lucky
to get any programs at all and take what they get.

Real Programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it
should be hard to understand.

Real Programmers don't write application programs; they program right down
on the bare metal. Application programming is for feebs who can't do systems
programming.

Real programmers don't eat quiche. In fact, real programmers don't know how
to SPELL quiche. They eat Twinkies, and Szechwan food.

Real Programmers don't write in COBOL. COBOL is for wimpy applications
programmers.

Real Programmers' programs never work right the first time. But if you throw
them on the machine they can be patched into working in "only a few" 30-hour
debugging sessions.

Real Programmers don't write in FORTRAN. FORTRAN is for pipe stress freaks
and crystallography weenies.

Real Programmers never work 9 to 5. If any real programmers are around at 9
AM, it's because they were up all night.

Real Programmers don't write in BASIC. Actually, no programmers write in
BASIC, after age 12.

Real Programmers don't write in PL/I. PL/I is for programmers who can't
decide whether to write in COBOL or FORTRAN.

Real Programmers don't play tennis, or any other sport that require you to
change clothes. Mountain climbing is OK, and real programmers wear their
climbing boots to work in case a mountain should suddenly spring up in the
middle of the machine room.

Real Programmers don't document. Documentation is for wimps who can't read
the listings or the object deck.

Real Programmers don't write in PASCAL, or BLISS, or ADA, or any of those
pinko computer science languages. Strong typing is for people with weak
memories.
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