[AccessD] OT Friday Humour

Andy Lacey andy at minstersystems.co.uk
Fri Jun 13 13:30:57 CDT 2003


Just back from hols so nothing useful to contribute but thought I'd
share this before the week-end. For non-UK dwellers Delia is a homely TV
chef (think Martha Stewart but without the insider trading).
------------------------------------------------------------------------
----
Do you inhabit the Delia Smith world or the real one? A test for you.

Delia's Way 1: 
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent
ice cream drips. 
The Real Women's Way :
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Heaven's
sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it
anyway.

Delia's Way 2: 
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the
potatoes. 
The Real Women's Way :
Buy Smash mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

Delia's Way 3 : 
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking tin, use a bit of the
dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of
the cake. 
The Real Women's Way :
Tesco's sell cakes. They even do decorated versions.

Delia's Way 4 : 
If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a
potato slice. 
The Real Women's Way :
If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Recite
with me the Real Women's Motto: "I made it and you will eat it and like
it."

Delia's Way 5 : 
Wrap celery in aluminium foil when putting in the refrigerator and it
will keep for weeks. The Real Women's Way : It could keep forever. Who
eats celery?

Delia's Way 6 : 
Brush some beaten egg white over piecrust before baking to yield
beautiful glossy finish. The Real Women's Way : Sainsbury's frozen pie
directions do not include brushing any egg white over the crust so I
don't do that.

Delia's Way 7 : 
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your
forehead. The throbbing will go away. The Real Women's Way : Cure for
headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and drop it in 8 ounces of
tequila. Drink the tequila. You might still have the headache, but you
won't notice. 

Delia's Way 8 : 
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves.
They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy. The Real Women's
Way : What's the point of blokes then?

And finally the most important tip - Delia's Way 9 :
Freeze leftover wine into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and
sauces. 
The Real Women's Way :
Leftover wine???? Hello!!!!!


Andy Lacey
http://www.minstersystems.co.uk



More information about the AccessD mailing list