budge at magicaldesk.com
budge at magicaldesk.com
Fri Mar 14 12:00:01 CST 2003
Read to the end!!! Don't skip If you canstart the day without caffeine or pep pills, If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains, If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles, If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it, If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time, If you can overlook when people take things out on you when, through no fault of yours, something goes wrong, If you can take criticism and blame without resentment, If you can face the world without lies and deceit, If you can conquer tension without medical help, If you can relax without liquor, If you can sleep without the aid of drugs, If you can do all these things, Then you are probably the family dog. **************** George Bush is visiting an elementary school and announces to the class, "You can all ask me questions." A boy named Bobby raises his hand and says, "I have 3 questions for you": 1) How did you win the election with less votes than Gore? 2) Isn't it true that you want to declare war on Iraq in order to get oil? 3) Why hasn't the U.S. caught Osama Bin Laden? Then the bell sounds and all the kids run out to the playground. 15 minutes later the kids come back in class and again Bush says, "You can all ask me questions." A boy named Charlie raises his hand and says, "I have 5 questions for you": 1) How did you win the election with less votes than Gore? 2) Isn't it true that you want to declare war on Iraq in order to get oil? 3) Why hasn't the U.S. caught Osama Bin Laden? 4) Why did the bell go off 20 minutes early? 5) Where is Bobby? **************** An actual letter from home from a marine with the multinational force in Bosnia: Dear Dad, A funny thing happened to me yesterday here at Camp Bondsteel (Bosnia): A French army officer walked up to me in the PX, and told me he thought we (Americans) were a bunch of cowboys and were going to provoke a war in Iraq. He said if such a thing happens, we wouldn't be able to count on the support of France. I told him that it didn't surprise me. Since we had come to France's rescue in World War I, World War II, Vietnam, and the Cold War, their ingratitude and jealousy was due to surface [again] at some point in the near future anyway. I also told him that is why France is a third-rate military power with a socialist economy and a bunch of pansies for soldiers. I additionally told him that America, being a nation of deeds and action, not words, would do whatever it had to do, and France's support, if it ever came, was only for show anyway. Just like in ALL NATO exercises, the US would shoulder 85% of the burden, and provide 85% of the support, as evidenced by the fact that this French officer was shopping in the American PX, and not the other way around. He began to get belligerent at that point, and I told him if he wanted to I would meet him outside in front of the Burger King and whip his butt in front of the entire Multi-National Brigade East, thus demonstrating that even the smallest American had more fight in him than the average Frenchman. He called me a barbarian cowboy and walked away in a huff. With friends like these, who needs enemies? Dad, tell Mom I love her, Your loving daughter, Mary Beth (LtCol., USMC) **************** Since cloning has been a subject of intense debate around the world, I thought I'd pose you the following ethical question: Suppose that through advanced science, a clone, an exact replica, had been made of me. One day, I chance upon my clone standing on a wall about 5 feet high, completely nude except for a raincoat, and he is flashing all the lady passers-by. Upset and disappointed at his behavior, I rush at him, and push him off of the wall. Since his hands were in the pockets of his raincoat, he is unable to catch himself,and he falls to the sidewalk below, fractures his skull and soon dies. I feel terrible. The ethical question about my act is this: Did I commit murder? Or did I commit suicide? Or... am I only guilty of making an obscene clone fall? _____________________________________________________________ Global Virtual Desktop Get your free Desktop at http://www.magicaldesk.com