[AccessD] Reminder - Joke Day

OK Karen, here's one my sister sent me.

NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN

D A M N I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.
 

ST.  M O M M A'S W O R T
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers
unconscious for up to two days.

 
E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of
how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved
out.


P E P T O B I M B O
Liquid silicone drink for single women.  Two full cups swallowed before an
evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents
conception.
 

D U M B E R O L
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in
enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.


F L I P I T O R
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge
to flip off other drivers.


M E N I C I L L I N
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women.  Increases resistance to such lethal
lines as, "You make me want to be a better person .  Can we get naked now?"


B U Y A G R A
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping.  Increases potency, duration,
and credit limit of spending spree..


J A C K A S S P I R I N
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday,
anniversary or phone number.


A N T I - T A L K S I D E N T!   A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be
used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in
elevators or on airplanes.


N A G A M E T
When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation level as
nagging him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it
herself.