[AccessD] OT: Friday Humor

Charlotte Foust cfoust at infostatsystems.com
Fri Oct 20 18:40:41 CDT 2006


In that case, make sure you spell it right!!

Charlotte 

-----Original Message-----
From: accessd-bounces at databaseadvisors.com
[mailto:accessd-bounces at databaseadvisors.com] On Behalf Of Billy Pang
Sent: Friday, October 20, 2006 12:19 PM
To: Access Developers discussion and problem solving
Subject: Re: [AccessD] OT: Friday Humor

I just may consider adding the term apocryphal to my personal lexicon so
i can use it to impress my peers.

On 10/20/06, Charlotte Foust <cfoust at infostatsystems.com> wrote:
>
> Well *I* knew what I meant! LOL
>
> Charlotte
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: accessd-bounces at databaseadvisors.com
> [mailto:accessd-bounces at databaseadvisors.com] On Behalf Of Mark A 
> Matte
> Sent: Friday, October 20, 2006 11:27 AM
> To: accessd at databaseadvisors.com
> Subject: Re: [AccessD] OT: Friday Humor
>
> Haven't had to use Webster's in awhile...thanks Charlotte...lol.
>
> Thanks,
>
> Mark A. Matte
>
> P.S...Webster says 'apocryphal' instead of 'apochryphal '...but either

> way I agree with you Charlotte
>
>
> >From: "Charlotte Foust" <cfoust at infostatsystems.com>
> >Reply-To: Access Developers discussion and problem 
> >solving<accessd at databaseadvisors.com>
> >To: "Access Developers discussion and problem 
> >solving"<accessd at databaseadvisors.com>
> >Subject: Re: [AccessD] OT: Friday Humor
> >Date: Fri, 20 Oct 2006 09:24:11 -0700
> >
> >I sure it's apochryphal but it's fun anyhow!
> >
> >Charlotte Foust
> >
> >-----Original Message-----
> >From: accessd-bounces at databaseadvisors.com
> >[mailto:accessd-bounces at databaseadvisors.com] On Behalf Of 
> >kens.programming
> >Sent: Friday, October 20, 2006 9:24 AM
> >To: 'Access Developers discussion and problem solving'
> >Subject: Re: [AccessD] OT: Friday Humor
> >
> >That is great.  Makes me happy to be a WSU alumnus.  Thanks for
> sharing.
> >
> >Ken
> >
> >-----Original Message-----
> >From: accessd-bounces at databaseadvisors.com
> >[mailto:accessd-bounces at databaseadvisors.com] On Behalf Of Hale, Jim
> >Sent: Friday, October 20, 2006 6:46 AM
> >To: 'Accessd (E-mail)
> >Subject: [AccessD] OT: Friday Humor
> >
> >HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT
> >
> >The following is an actual question given on a Washington State 
> >University chemistry mid-term.
> >The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared
> it
> >with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now 
> >have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :
> >
> >Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic 
> >(absorbs heat)?
> >
> >Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law 
> >(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some 
> >variant .
> >
> >One student, however, wrote the following:
> >
> >First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So 
> >we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the 
> >rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume 
> >that once
> a
> >soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
leaving.
> >As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different 
> >religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions 
> >state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to
Hell.
> >Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do 
> >not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls 
> >go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the

> >number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
> >Now, we look at the Rate of change of the volume in Hell because
> Boyle's
> >Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to 
> >stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as
> souls
> >are added.
> >
> >This gives two possibilities:
> >
> >1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls

> >enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase 
> >until all Hell breaks loose.
> >
> >2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls 
> >in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell 
> >freezes over.
> >
> >So which is it?
> >
> >If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
> year
> >that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and 
> >take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then 
> >number two must be true, AND thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic 
> >and has
> already
> >frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has 
> >frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and 
> >is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the 
> >existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa 
> >kept shouting "Oh my God."
> >
> >THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
> >
> >
> >
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--
Billy Pang
http://dbnotes.blogspot.com/
"Once the game is over, the King and the pawn go back in the same box."
- Italian proverb
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