[AccessD] A call to the helpdesk

Hi all

Since we started business in 1993 we've had numerous not-so-straight calls from clients but none like this.

First: Client is a bit special - running a medium sized centre for plants, garden and accessories with three cash lines. The current owners bought the site about three years ago from the original owners who had ran it since 2001. Most equipment and software was carried forward from their previous business established in 1998. That year they bought a complete setup from us with a Novell NetWare 4.11 server, IBM pcs with Win98 and an Access based ERP system heavily modified by us to handle all inventory, heavy duty label printing and POS functions including barcode scanners and cash receipts.
All this to tell you that this is proven equipment which has ran business for 7 days a week excluding Christmas and New Year in 11 years. Further, the server was bought second hand - it was our own primary server from 1993 which means - hold your breath - that we are dealing with a 16 years old Micron clone with 486 processor and 32 MB of ram, also an Adaptec SCSI controller, a VGA board and a 3Com NIC and, of course, ISA bus. The power supply and the harddisk have been replaced once. Talk about value for money.
The Access mdb are shared on the NetWare server as are the main laser printer. The pcs are for the cash lines, and one is for the back office where it also controls two serial attached heavy duty label printers printing water resistant labels.

We haven't heard from the client for some years and believed they had trashed it all and bought something new. But no. Yesterday the phone rang and we had a little chit-chat. Then:

Client: We have taken up fireworks as a product line and need to create a new product group for this to be able to print labels, but we can't get access to the system!
Me: Access? You just open the sales module and create the product group. Then run the routines to bring it forward to the cash line. Pretty straight forward.

C: We know. We have written down somewhere how to. But we can't get access.
M: Well, do you get some kind of error message?

C: Yes. It's something about printer server is down.
M: OK. When do you see this message? When you log in?

C: Log in? 
M: Yes, when you turn the machine on, after a while you login. It is a box labelled Novell. Did you see that?

C: No. It is always on.
M: OK, then perhaps you have lost the network connection to the server (comment: Very unlikely, but you seek for causes)
M: Do you have access to the Internet?

C: Oh, you better get my partner. I'm not so good with computers and so.
M: OK.

C: (The partner takes over) Yes we have access. (comment: Clients lie. Always put cross-checking questions). 
C: But we can't access that.
M: (slightly confused). Oh. But please check the network cables. Is the machine connected?

C: Yes, the cable runs to the box (comment: switch) besides the server.
M: Do you see some lights flashing at the cable's connections?

C: Yes.
M: And the cash lines are operating?

C: Yes.
M: Fine. Then the server and the network is operating.
M: We better establish a firm point. How about rebooting the machine? Just press Ctrl-Alt-Del.

C: (pushes keys a couple of times) It doesn't react.
M: It may have locked up completely. Turn it off and then on.

C: (Turns it off, waits, turns it on)
M: (After a little while) Well, what do you see on the screen. A Novell login?

C: No, it displays the same.
M: The same what?

C: It looks like it has done all the time. Something about printer server is off.
M: (At this point realising that the monitor is connected to the server, and now the error message suddenly makes sense)
M: Oh my, you are looking at the wrong monitor. What about the monitor for the workstation?

C: What monitor?
M: (Now more than slightly confused) Well, you have a monitor for the workstation, right?

C: There is only this one monitor here.
M: OK. Then someone must have moved the monitor from the workstation to the server to watch the backup log. 
M: (An old monitor used to be attached to the server, and I thought it was now gone) 
M: Move it back to the workstation so it can tell us what is happening.

C: (Connects the monitor to the workstation)
M: What do you see?

C: There is a message about post ...
M: (Knowing that this means some kind of hardware change on an IBM) It has detected some change in hardware. Just press F1 to continue.

C: (Pressing some keys) Nothing happens.
M: Strange. Are you sure the keyboard is connected? Does the Caps and Num lock work?

C: Yes, I can turn them on and off. That's all.
M: (Now realising the impossible) Please check the keyboard cable. Where is it connected please?

C: (Fumbling with cables) It runs to the server ...
M: OK. That explains. The keyboard has been moved to the server too. Please move it to the workstation.

C: The plug doesn't fit!
M: (Suddenly remembering that old keyboards had a DIN plug and not a PS/2 plug)
M: The keyboard and the monitor are those intended to be used with the server, I guess. Do they look pretty old?

C: Yes.
M: OK. Both the monitor and the keyboard are those for the server.
M: Where are the keyboard and monitor for the workstation? Has someone disconnected those?
M: (comment: At this point the partner had left the room)

C: I don't know. There are no more monitors or keyboards in the office (comment: office is pretty small and easy to glance)
M: But how do you operate the workstation? Don't you use it for printing the thick labels?

C: Yes we do. Don't know where the monitor has gone. (He yells the partner with no success).
M: OK. You better talk to your partner and ask where he has taken the monitor and keyboard.

C: I'll do that.
M: Fine. And when you have attached these, if you still have a problem, please call again.
C: Yes. Thanks! (hangs up)

The client didn't call back.
Once again, the people working full time at the helpdesks around deserve the deepest respect. I know for sure I wouldn't have the patience needed.

/gustav