[AccessD] OT: Friday Humor...

Shamil Salakhetdinov shamil at smsconsulting.spb.ru
Fri Aug 27 06:49:04 CDT 2010


Hi All --

The good humor is in the bottom of this message I suppose - "anecdotes about
(Russian) road police" - the last one is a bit rude, sorry...

The Black Humor is here:

Drivers here can get their car driving license cancelled for 4-6 months
because of the crossing/cutting by their cars the road line in the rose zone
- of that picture: http://sms-web.biz/pdd/bm3.jpg ...
Like that - http://sms-web.biz/pdd/spc1.jpg - more or less - it's a real
case pictured here - a man (a lawyer BTW) has got his car driving lost based
on such a picture + a Russian road policeman report, which was a kind of
gibberish cheating...

My question is: would such a road traffic rule violation result in getting
your car driving license cancelled temporarily there in your countries?

The GoogleMaps link for this crossroad is here:

http://maps.google.ru/maps?hl=en&ie=UTF8&ll=59.990675,30.188954&spn=0.002146
,0.008245&t=h&z=18 

The Google Earth link is here:

http://sms-web.biz/pdd/sp.kmz 


Thank you.

-- Shamil

P.S. Anecdotes (source: http://www.vashamashina.ru/anekdots.html - in
Russian)

- #1 -

Two buddies, inveterate motorists meet in a park. 
As if nothing had happened one of them says:
- It's healthy from time to time to stretch my legs!
Another with ironic smile agrees:
- That's for sure! But when have you got your
  car driving license cancelled?

- #2 -

Two breathless boys run to a road policeman staying on a crossroad:
- Inspector, Inspector! It's there around the corner! Harry!
- What is there? What has happened?
- It is there ... our teacher ...
- It's an accident? Car crush?
- No, our teacher has got his car parked improperly! 

- #3 -

A guy rides his car very speedily; a policeman stops him and tells him:
- Where do you hurry your car?
- Yes, that's a Christmas Eve we have got celebrated with friends,
  and I have got delayed.
- But it's May now!
- Yes, this why I'm hurrying!

- #5 -

Russian road policeman (GIBDDshnik) won one thousand dollars playing card
game.
He is asked:
- What will you do with that money? How do you plan to spend them?
GIBDDshnik doesn't know what to answer, he is thinking deeply...
And suddenly he is getting cheerful and joyous and says:
- I will buy a crossroad and I will be there working alone! 

- #6 -

What are similarities of Russian road policemen and Chinese?
1. The population of both groups is very large.
2. They both are feeding using sticks. 

- #7 -

A guy is passing an road rules exam in Russia. 
Russian road policeman (GIBDDshnik) is asking this guy:
- What this road sign means - a cow inside a triangle?
- Well, you don't know? It is a beast on the road.
- Where it is installed?
- Well, you don't know? 100-200 meters from the road
  police control station. 
(NB: in Russia such road police control stations are located almost on every
road entering the big cities)

- #8 -

Russian road policeman-dad wakes up his small son at a half past six in the
morning and is saying to him: 
- Come on, son, hurry, they has already got a
  half an hour of free ride...

- #9 -

Policeman stops a Luxury Red BMW-convertible driven by a stunning blonde.
- Your car driving license, please.
- What's this?
- Well, it's a small plastic document with a photo  that people is usually
keeping in their wallets. 
Blonde dig out her wallet, finds her car driving license and passes it to
the policeman.
- It's OK, thank you. And do you have a technical
  passport for your car?
- What's this?
- Well, it's a document of that people is usually
  keeping in the glove compartment of their cars.
Blonde digs out in her car glove compartment and passes technical passport
of her car to the policeman.
Policeman immediately calls the police information center to check the car
registration and the owner. 
On the other side of the wire, as soon as they have got informed what is
happening there on policeman side, they are immediately advising policeman
to step up the blonde and to remove his pants. 
- Oh, bloody hell, this test for alcohol again !!!...




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