[AccessD] New Project

Two members of this list, Jim Dettman and Arthur Fuller, are pleased to
announce the completion of a secret project they are beginning tomorrow. It
will forever alter the current beliefs about the world as we know it. In a
word, the team has demonstrated that the universe is an involuted
hypersphere revolving within a torus. The final verifications begin
tomorrow and were completed yesterday. Perhaps the most breathtaking thing
is, it was all done in Access and SQL Server, each compressed sufficiently
that they can run together in 64K of RAM, running CP/M at 4Mz.

How, you might ask, was this possible? Sometimes the simplest solutions
take centuries to discover. Take the air out of a Zero and you have a One.
Then the whole program can be expressed as a sequence of Ones. Then you RAR
the result and presto! Took years of work, but after the fact everything
looks easy.

An additional benefit is its extremely fast download. The team
subcontracted some disgraced physicists (recently resigned from CERN) to
build a faster-than-light download scheme, so it arrives before you click
the Download button.

Thanks to all you geniuses at AccessD. We couldn't have done it without
you! Well, actually, it already was. Version 2 was twice as fast as Version
1, and therefore arrived sooner.

This announcement was sent on April 3, but thanks to this revolutionary
technology, you'll receive it the day before yesterday..

-- 
Jim Dettman and Arthur Fuller

Just because light is fast, doesn't mean she's easy.
  -- Anon