[dba-SQLServer] A Database Joke (revisited, with suggested revisions)

[Arthur Fuller]

This query walks into a bar and joins two tables.

The waiter runs to the table and queries, "What did you do that for?"

The query replies, "I like the View."

The waiter replies, "Would you like to Order By?"

The query responds, "Rank Over By that sphincter in the next Partition".

The waiter answers, "Oh, you mean the Dense_Partition."

The query responds, "Top 1 Percent". (Economics reference here, c.f Thomas
Piketty et. al.)

The waiter queries, "Over my dead body! Any Where to add to your request?"

The query responds, "Over MyDeadBody."

-- 
Arthur
P.S.
I'm running out of cache and I need to borrow some. As Tom Waits put it, Tom
Traubert's Blues
<https://search.yahoo.com/search?p=youtube.com%3A+tom+traubert%27s+blues&ei=UTF-8&fr=chr-greentree_ff&ilc=12&type=937811>.
Can't be better stated than that. I love Leonard Cohen, but they live on
different sides of the street.