[AccessD] OT: Friday punnery

These are old but still good. 


1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess 
looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per 
passenger." 

2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says: 
"Dam!" 

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the 
craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your 
kayak and heat it. 

4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The other says

"Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive." 

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal?

His goal: transcend dental medication. 

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in 
the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour,

the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" 
they asked. "Because I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer." 

7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a 
family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; 
they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his 
birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she 
wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're 
twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal." 

8. Friars behind on their belfry payments opened a small florist shop to 
raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God a rival

florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good 
fathers to close down, but they would not. The rival florist then hired Hugh

MacTaggart, a thug, to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and

trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. 
Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that: Only Hugh can  prevent florist

friars. 

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which 
produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little,

which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad 
breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by  h alitosis.


10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to 
friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. 
But of course, No pun in ten did! 



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