[AccessD] Friday OT: Memo from Santa

Of course everyone knows that they refused to negotiate with any union for
fairies.  Told them flat out to take their *&^%$#@ union and move to San
Francisco.

John W. Colby
www.ColbyConsulting.com 

Contribute your unused CPU cycles to a good cause:
http://folding.stanford.edu/
-----Original Message-----
From: accessd-bounces at databaseadvisors.com
[mailto:accessd-bounces at databaseadvisors.com] On Behalf Of William Hindman
Sent: Friday, December 16, 2005 11:07 AM
To: Access Developers discussion and problem solving
Subject: Re: [AccessD] Friday OT: Memo from Santa

...inquiring minds want to now why Alabama, the heart of the south and
second home to all true Bubbas, was left out?

William

----- Original Message -----
From: "Jeff Barrows" <Jeff at outbaktech.com>
To: "AccessD" <accessd at databaseadvisors.com>
Sent: Friday, December 16, 2005 8:34 AM
Subject: [AccessD] Friday OT: Memo from Santa


> For all my southern friends:
>
> Memo from SANTA
>
>  I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer
> serve the States of Georgia, Florida, Virginia, North and South Carolina,
> Tennessee, Mississippi, Texas, and Arkansas on Christmas Eve.
>  Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was
> renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. As part of the
> new and better contract, I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies so
> keep that in mind.
>  However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your
> local replacement, who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus.
>  His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of
> delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few
> differences between us.
>
>  Differences such as:
>
>  1. There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba
> Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads:
> "These toys insured by Smith and Wesson."
>
>  2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave
> an RC cola and pork rinds [or a moon pie] on the fireplace. And Bubba
> doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an
> empty spit  can handy.
>
>  3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs
> instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my
> reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace.
>
>  4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner, and Blitzen..." when
> Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Andretti, on
> Elliott and Petty."
>
>  5. "Ho, Ho, Ho" has been replaced by "Yee Haw" And you also are likely to
> hear Bubba's elves respond, "Ah heer'd dat"
>
>  6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a
> Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words "Back Off."
>
>  7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street"
> and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing
> area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the
> Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state
> patrol cars crashing into each other.
>
>  And finally,
>
>  8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the
> wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents
> under the tree.
>
>  Sincerely Yours,
>
>  Santa Claus
>
>
> Jeff Barrows
> MCP, MCAD, MCSD
>
> Outbak Technologies, LLC
> Racine, WI
> jeff at outbaktech.com
> -- 
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> AccessD at databaseadvisors.com
> http://databaseadvisors.com/mailman/listinfo/accessd
> Website: http://www.databaseadvisors.com
> 


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