Darren DICK
darrend at nimblesystems.com.au
Fri Dec 16 18:28:52 CST 2005
Hee Hee Thanks John Even Aussie red-necks laughed at that one Darren --------------------------------------- NIMBLE T: 0424 696 433 -----Original Message----- From: accessd-bounces at databaseadvisors.com [mailto:accessd-bounces at databaseadvisors.com] On Behalf Of John Colby Sent: Saturday, 17 December 2005 3:18 AM To: 'Access Developers discussion and problem solving' Subject: Re: [AccessD] Friday OT: Memo from Santa Of course everyone knows that they refused to negotiate with any union for fairies. Told them flat out to take their *&^%$#@ union and move to San Francisco. John W. Colby www.ColbyConsulting.com Contribute your unused CPU cycles to a good cause: http://folding.stanford.edu/ -----Original Message----- From: accessd-bounces at databaseadvisors.com [mailto:accessd-bounces at databaseadvisors.com] On Behalf Of William Hindman Sent: Friday, December 16, 2005 11:07 AM To: Access Developers discussion and problem solving Subject: Re: [AccessD] Friday OT: Memo from Santa ...inquiring minds want to now why Alabama, the heart of the south and second home to all true Bubbas, was left out? William ----- Original Message ----- From: "Jeff Barrows" <Jeff at outbaktech.com> To: "AccessD" <accessd at databaseadvisors.com> Sent: Friday, December 16, 2005 8:34 AM Subject: [AccessD] Friday OT: Memo from Santa > For all my southern friends: > > Memo from SANTA > > I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer > serve the States of Georgia, Florida, Virginia, North and South Carolina, > Tennessee, Mississippi, Texas, and Arkansas on Christmas Eve. > Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was > renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. As part of the > new and better contract, I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies so > keep that in mind. > However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your > local replacement, who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus. > His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of > delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few > differences between us. > > Differences such as: > > 1. There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba > Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads: > "These toys insured by Smith and Wesson." > > 2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave > an RC cola and pork rinds [or a moon pie] on the fireplace. And Bubba > doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an > empty spit can handy. > > 3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs > instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my > reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace. > > 4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner, and Blitzen..." when > Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Andretti, on > Elliott and Petty." > > 5. "Ho, Ho, Ho" has been replaced by "Yee Haw" And you also are likely to > hear Bubba's elves respond, "Ah heer'd dat" > > 6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a > Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words "Back Off." > > 7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street" > and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing > area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the > Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state > patrol cars crashing into each other. > > And finally, > > 8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the > wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents > under the tree. > > Sincerely Yours, > > Santa Claus > > > Jeff Barrows > MCP, MCAD, MCSD > > Outbak Technologies, LLC > Racine, WI > jeff at outbaktech.com > -- > AccessD mailing list > AccessD at databaseadvisors.com > http://databaseadvisors.com/mailman/listinfo/accessd > Website: http://www.databaseadvisors.com > -- AccessD mailing list AccessD at databaseadvisors.com http://databaseadvisors.com/mailman/listinfo/accessd Website: http://www.databaseadvisors.com -- AccessD mailing list AccessD at databaseadvisors.com http://databaseadvisors.com/mailman/listinfo/accessd Website: http://www.databaseadvisors.com