[AccessD] OT: I'll forget them by Friday

*LOT'S WIFE*

The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and 
turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, 'My Mommy 
looked back once while she was driving,' he announced triumphantly, 'and 
she turned into a telephone pole!'

*GOOD* *SAMARITAN*

A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good 
Samaritan.  She asked the class, 'If you saw a person lying on the 
roadside, wounded and bleeding, what would you do?'
A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, 'I think I'd throw up.' 


*DID NOAH FISH?* 

A Sunday school teacher asked, 'Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of 
fishing when he was on the  Ark ?'   
'No,' replied Johnny. 'How could he, with just two worms?'  

*HIGHER* *POWER* 

A Sunday school teacher said to her children, 'We have been learning how 
powerful kings and queens were in Bible times, but there is a Higher 
Power.  Can anybody tell me what it is?'  
One child blurted out, 'Aces!'


*MOSES AND THE* *RED* *SEA*  

Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday 
School.
'Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on 
a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of  Egypt .  When he got to 
the  Red Sea , he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people 
walked across safely.. Then he radioed headquarters for reinforcements. 
They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved.'
'Now, Joey, is that /really/ what your teacher taught you?' his mother 
asked.
'Well, no, Mom.  But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never 
believe it!'
 


*THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD* 

A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of 
the most quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23. She gave the 
youngsters a month to learn the chapter.   
Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn't remember 
the Psalm.   After much practice, he could barely get past the first line.
On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of 
the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped 
up to the microphone and said proudly, 'The Lord is my Shepherd, and 
that's all I need to know.'


*BEING THANKFUL*

A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, 'Your mother says your 
prayers for you each night?  That's very commendable.  What does she 
say?'      
The little boy replied, 'Thank God he's in bed!'


*UNANSWERED PRAYER
* 
The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused 
and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon.  One day, 
she asked him why.
'Well, Honey,' he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his 
messages, 'I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon.'
'So, how come He doesn't?' she asked.


 *UNTIMELY ANSWERED PRAYER*
 
During the minister's prayer one Sunday, there was a loud whistle from 
one of the back pews.
Tommy's mother was horrified. She pinched him into silence and, after 
church, asked, 'Tommy, whatever made you do such a thing?'     
Tommy answered soberly, 'I asked God to teach me to whistle, and He did!'


 *TIME TO PRAY* 

A pastor asked a little boy if he said his prayers every night.
'Yes, sir.' the boy replied.
'And, do you always say them in the morning, too?' the pastor asked.
'No sir,' the boy replied. 'I ain't scared in the daytime.'


*EQUAL REPRESENTATION*

When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every 
family member, every friend, and every pet, current and past.        
For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would 
say, 'All girls.' This soon became part of her nightly routine, to 
include this closing. My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, 
'Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?'
Her response, 'Because everybody always finishes their prayers by saying 
'All Men'!'
 

*
SAY A PRAYER* 

Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his 
grandmother's house.   Everyone was seated around the table as the food 
was being served.  When Little Johnny received his plate, he started 
eating right away.
'Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer.'  said his mother.
'I don't need to,' the boy replied.
'Of course, you do.' his mother insisted. 'We always say a prayer before 
eating at our house.'
'That's at our house.' Johnny explained.  'But this is Grandma's house 
and she knows how to cook!'

-- 
John W. Colby
www.ColbyConsulting.com